


Making Her Mark

by overcomingthedark



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Happy Ending, but it's okay yall, it's a soulmate AU!, just...with soulmates and marks, like more than I thought there would be, open fic night 2019, soul marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 10:36:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19249465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/overcomingthedark/pseuds/overcomingthedark
Summary: ~~~She dreamed that her future soulmate was a lion tamer, or a famous dog trainer like she saw on TV. One time she dreamed she'd find her matching soul in a veterinarian- a brave, handsome man who spent his life saving the lives of animals- but that memory was a long way away and deeply buried when she met Ted. And Alexis’ soul mark was covered by a tattoo she’d drunkenly gotten at age 12. That was when she'd realised that actually, the world was anything but a fairytale and she was in it alone.A soulmate was just another person to let her down.~~~





	Making Her Mark

**Author's Note:**

  * For [oscarwildewannabe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/oscarwildewannabe/gifts).



> <3 written with love <3 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

       The first kiss Alexis shared with Ted, she didn't notice her soul mark tingle. The cliched yet still totally adorable and  _ not overdone thank you very much, Claire _ , heart in the middle of her lower back didn't draw her attention very often, mostly because Alexis had trained herself from a very young age not to look at that part of herself.

 

       Well, a relatively young age. She still remembers being 4 years old and prancing around her pink princess room, singing to whichever nanny was around that the outline of the paw print on her back would lead her to her very own Prince Charming. Alexis didn’t have very many carefree childhood memories, but that was one of them. It was right around the time she'd learned soulmates existed, and that her parents were not only madly, disgustingly in love, but fated to be together. It made all sorts of pretty pictures of future hopes appear behind her eyes. 

 

       She dreamed that her future soulmate was a lion tamer, or a famous dog trainer like she saw on TV. One time she dreamed she'd find her matching soul in a veterinarian- a brave, handsome man who spent his life saving the lives of animals- but that memory was a long way away and deeply buried when she met Ted. And Alexis’ soul mark was covered by a tattoo she’d drunkenly gotten at age 12. That was when she'd realised that actually, the world was anything but a fairytale and she was in it alone. A soulmate was just another person to let her down. 

 

       So when Alexis and Ted dated after she first moved into town, she didn't notice the change where her tattoo badly covered her soul mark. Her mind was too caught up in what people would think of her, of what they'd think of the two of them together. If Ted was enough to make her feel like her old self.  

 

       She definitely didn't notice the heart darken and the lines that were mostly hidden by the waistband of her underwear warp out of shape. She would have to be looking to notice, and Alexis had made the decision to ignore that part of herself a long time ago. She had grown to love the heart tattoo, but too much pain was associated with why she had it and she’d trained her eye to skip over it for way too many years to notice now, when her life was pulling apart at the seams. 

 

*** 

 

       Alexis can tell something is different, the first time she kisses Mutt after Ted. There's something off- almost something wrong- but she passes that off as guilt and tries to move through it. She stumbles her way, but stumbling forward is still forward movement, and the craziest part is, Alexis is starting to...change. She feels stupid in her own head saying it, and she doesn't dare mention it to David or her mother for fear of being made fun of until the day she dies, but she feels like she's growing. 

 

(She does actually tell David, one night in the dark of their motel room. She can't really see his face, but she can hear the smile in his voice when he simply replies, "I'm glad for you, Alexis," before turning over and falling rapidly into sleep. She's glad it's dark, and that David is apparently able to fall asleep on a dime even in emotionally fraught situations, because she doesn't have any control over the tears that leak out of her eyes. The feeling welling up in her is mostly unfamiliar, but she's fairly certain it's what being loved feels like.) 

 

       Mutt doesn't last, and looking back at it Alexis isn't surprised. She  _ is _ surprised when she jumps feet first back into Ted's life, unable to ignore the feelings drawing her to him. She’s even more surprised when she finds herself enjoying her work at the clinic. She knows she's not the best at it, but she's not bad, and she's trying- which is a new thing for her. Things are going right, more right than they had in a long time. Maybe even before her old life had come to a screeching halt and she’d lost everything. 

 

(Everything is a strange concept, Alexis thinks about often. Because she had- lost everything, that is. But the more distance she gets from the disaster that was her life falling apart, the more she feels like everything that mattered stuck around.) 

 

***

 

       Alexis is very proud of herself when she comes up with the idea for the livestream of the bunnies. She didn't ever consider that she could be  _ good _ at this, at working, at her  _ job _ , but it turns out if you try- and then keep trying (this part is key, she is learning) you can make things happen for yourself. 

 

       When she logs on to check the stream, and maybe use it to brag to David, just a little bit, Ted appears in frame and her breath catches. He’s just returned from a run and Alexis can't help but admire the way his shirt sticks to him. And then the way his shirt looks off of him. And she knows she should turn this off, that she has no right to look at him; she gave up her rights to this months ago. She needs to close the computer and call Ted. Tell him that he's exposing himself and... that he's getting tens of more views by the second. Website hits were spiking like crazy.

 

       Maybe Alexis wouldn't call Ted just yet. But she'd keep watching- so she could warn him if he seemed like he might really show something he couldn't take back. 

 

       Alexis traces her eyes up his arms, across his built shoulders and taut neck. His skin has a sheen to it from his run, and watching him mop his forehead with his balled up shirt makes tingles travel up and down her arms and legs. She shouldn’t be watching this- the feeling comes crashing over her again, and she actually has her finger over the trackpad when she sees it. 

 

       Ted has turned his back to the camera and it looks like he’s talking to the bunnies, which would be an adorable tidbit that Alexis would tease him with next time she saw him. If she’d noticed. Which she didn’t. 

 

       The motel could be burning down around her right that very second and she wouldn’t have noticed. 

 

       She can’t breathe. Her heart is racing so fast it’s about to do something stupid like break out of her chest and run all the way back to her old life- when things were simple and she didn’t have all these feelings welling up and choking her and she didn’t know the man she’s starting to have real, grown-up,  _ deep _ feelings for had a filled in soul mark inbetween his shoulder blades. 

 

       It’s diamond shaped- like the kind that came in an engagement ring. Like the kind that came in the engagement ring Ted Mullens had offered to her when she was stupid and naive and saw him only as a means to an end. 

 

       It is absolutely gorgeous, and Alexis still hasn’t gotten her breath back. How had she never noticed Ted’s soulmark was on his back? It is glaringly obvious- though she gives herself a little credit that it probably hadn’t been as obvious before it was filled in. And that thought causes ice to crystallise in her veins. She can feel it forming, sharp and cold and slowing everything down until she can feel every bit of her hurt. 

 

       She quickly slams the laptop shut, the world coming back into focus around her. David is giggling and giving her looks, obviously not catching onto the turn Alexis’ thoughts and mood have taken. He snatches up the laptop jokingly, and rushes into their parents’ room. Alexis can barely muster up the energy to halfheartedly chase him, and when the door closes behind him she sinks against it, sliding to the floor. 

 

       She covers her face as tears force themselves down her cheeks, and a random thought floats over the chaos that is her brain at the moment. Is this what being emotionally honest was? Was she just going to cry uncontrollably whenever her eyes felt like turning on the waterworks? She frustratedly slams her head back against the door, pressing her hands down into the floor and squeezing her eyes closed as tight as she can. If so, she doesn’t want it. It’s too much and she feels the embarrassment, the weakness, worm its way down her spine as a sob she can’t control escapes her throat.

 

       The thoughts rush around her and over each other and tangle and snarl so that she can barely understand what’s going through her head. Who was Ted’s soulmate? Does she know her? When did this happen and why hadn’t Ted told her about it? Does he think she can’t handle it? Fear pierces through her- can he tell she’s developing feelings? 

 

       Alexis gets up and throws herself on her bed so she can scream into her pillow. She misses being able to drown any feelings she had by calling a dozen people to go party with her. She’d had numbness down to a science and a perfectly crafted mask to wear when she couldn’t numb away the emotions. For just a moment, amid the crying and the frustration and the aching pain she can feel in every single part of her body, she wishes Schitt’s Creek had never happened. 

 

       Then she feels the bed dip next to her, and a hand rubbing her back. When she feels the body lay down next to her, she can smell it’s David by the cologne that takes over her senses. He pushes in, shoving her a bit, but grabs her hand fiercely tight. The aching fades for a second, and she knows she doesn’t mean it. 

 

       Not feeling was the way Alexis survived her old life, because she had been so certain she had nobody. She knows now that was never the case, and that she has people who will catch her when she falls- even if they wobble a bit sometimes. Her thoughts detangle enough for her to lift her head off the pillow and take a breath. She feels David try and one-arm-hug her and it’s enough to bring her to her senses. 

 

       “Ew, David. I’m not dying.” She gets out. It’s not the most convincing, but it’s enough to get a half smirk and shoulder pat from David. 

 

       “Just trying to help, sorry for being a good brother.” He spreads his hands out in a dramatic flair before moving to his own bed and pulling out his phone. Enough privacy to let Alexis get herself together, but close enough to still be there for her. The hurt dulls a little more. She gets herself up and gets her head back in the game. 

 

       So the boy she has a crush on found his soulmate? So what? Her feelings are just a crush and she cares about Ted as a friend first and foremost, so she’s going to be happy for him and that is that. 

 

       Shit. And maybe tell him he exposed himself live on the internet. She’d spin it, it would be fine. She smiles to herself in the mirror of the bathroom as she touches up her makeup and it actually makes her feel better. She is going to be just fine. 

 

***

 

       There is a blip in Alexis’ resolve when Ted shows up to her graduation like it’s normal, like of course he would come, he’s taking pictures for her family and for her and he wants to continue to see her and Alexis’ heart feels full to bursting and melty all at once. 

 

       It’s an emotional night, and when her mom is singing to her there may be a short time where she imagines what this would all feel like if she could be holding Ted’s hand- if she could take him home to her parents and David to celebrate, and then go home with him and…

 

       And it’s a very emotional night for her. When she wakes up the next morning she knows that’s all it is. She focuses on college and when her anxiety flares she reminds herself to try and to keep trying, and hears Ted encouraging her in her head, every step of the way. He’s there outside of her head too, but she allows herself to be honest with the Ted inside of her head, and he knows she’s falling hopelessly for him and stays with her anyways. She doesn’t think real-life Ted with a soulmate who isn’t her would do the same. 

 

*** 

 

       Alexis knows she’s head-over-heels, no-going-back, this-is-it in love with Ted the night she goes out on a manhunt with Twyla. She’d had her suspicions before then, hard not to when she’s doing this whole ‘being open and honest with herself in order to grow’ thing, but that’s the night it really hits home, and hits her hard. She knows now that Ted’s is still with Heather who must be his soulmate, and while her mom’s speech at the end of the night makes her feel a little better, it’s only because it helps with the acceptance of it all. 

 

       Soulmates are meant to be. Alexis is just the sad girl who destroyed her mark at 12 years old and fell in love with a man who belongs to somebody else.

 

       When she gets home that night she has the room to herself. David is with Patrick and Alexis is glad for it, for the privacy to mourn in peace, without having to worry that David will hear her or look at her weird. Or worse, try and one-arm-hug her again. 

 

       She takes her dress off and throws it at the end of her bed, walking over to grab pyjamas that would help her feel cozy and comforted. When she’s confronted with her reflection, she takes a moment to smile at herself, and though it’s sad at the edges, and not too bright, it still grounds her. 

 

       She turns as she slips off her underwear, not really in the mood to examine her naked body, and her tattoo catches the corner of her eye. On habit, she looks away quickly and almost laughs at how sharply she’d turned her head. She’ll probably have a crick in it in the morning. She takes a deep breath and contemplates why she avoids it in the first place. It’s a leftover habit from her old life that she doesn’t need to have weighing her down any longer. 

 

       Alexis turns her head and looks at the heart, straight on with all the obnoxious hotel lights blazing. It looks...terrible. She doesn’t remember it looking so weird. She goes into the bathroom’s brighter light and really cranes her neck, trying to piece out what’s wrong with it. 

 

       And a broken sob flies out of her at the sight of it. 

 

       The formerly pink heart has blackened and faded considerably, the vibrant heart completely disappearing in spots and warping out of shape in others. And a paw print is unmistakable beneath it, making itself known no matter how hard little Alexis had tried to make it disappear. It is completely filled in. 

 

       Alexis’ legs go weak and she makes it to the chair at the table before she really starts crying in earnest. 

 

       Ted is her soulmate. It has to be him. He always has been, from the first moment their lips touched and she was too consumed with everything else in her life, including the exciting bad boy, to notice she had the love of her life between her hands. 

 

       Another sob wracks through her as she realises that Ted probably knows- had known this whole time. He’s such an amazing guy and has so much respect for her that he respected when she ended things without bringing it up. That she never wanted to talk about it. God, what a monster he must’ve thought she was. Is? No, he knows she’s changed. Does he really think the person she’s become would continue on without talking about it- apologising properly? 

 

       It’s all a mess in her head and it’s too much to process at one in the morning with a hangover setting in, still naked on her dining chair. She wipes the tears and significant eye makeup off her cheeks and goes to bed. All of it will still be there in the morning.

 

***

 

       It takes Alexis weeks to decide how she’s going to handle it. Probably too many weeks, but she keeps going back and forth on the way to do things- trying to decide whether it would be best to never say anything, to leave Ted be and let him move on without inserting herself where she’s absolutely not wanted. 

 

       But then they’ll run into each other and their eye contact is electric, or he’ll sit down next to her and lean closer and closer until their shoulders brush, and the fact that this man is her  _ soulmate  _ rushes through her and she knows they have to talk things out. She owes it to him as his soulmate to at least clear the air, apologise properly for the ways she unknowingly hurt him.

 

       It’s fear that holds her back, plain and simple. Because if she’s really going to be honest, she’s going to have to be honest about her feelings and more than anything else, Alexis doesn’t want to lose Ted. But this holding pattern is hurting them both and she can stop that hurt, so she does. 

 

***

 

       “I love you. I’m in love with you, and I know I really don’t have any right to say that to you, and also, I know you’re in a relationship and I’m happy for you- I really am, I just feel like if I didn’t tell you how I felt, I would literally go insane. 

 

       “You’re the sweetest man I’ve ever known, and… and you’re my soulmate. And I’m so sorry, because I just discovered it a few weeks ago and I owe you so much better than the way I treated you the first time around, and since. 

 

       “But I know now, and I know you’re the love of my life. Um, yeah. That’s it.” 

 

       Everything is kind of a blur after she gets it out. She’s not breathing properly, which is possibly why everything is kind of blurry- or maybe it’s tears. But Ted is fighting tears as well and it only makes her feel more connected to him. She’s never felt like this in her entire life, like her soul is lifting right up out of her body and taking her with it. Like she’s finally and profoundly  _ home _ .

 

       And then she leaves. Ted doesn’t follow her. 

 

       Not in a way Alexis notices, anyway. And not right away. But he does follow her, because of course he does, and she doesn’t realise until he’s right in front of her, telling her so. It’s all very them.

 

***

 

       The last first kiss Alexis ever had, she shared with Ted. Her soulmate. 

 

       She was convinced she’d lost him forever, and then he sat down in front of her in his scrubs and he was her handsome veterinarian dream come true but so, so much more. He was her best friend and her biggest supporter and he believed in her more than anyone ever had.  He was the love of her life, and he was her soulmate. 

 

       And this time, as he kissed her and she held him in her arms, she felt her soul mark tingle. 


End file.
